While being a mother has a whole lot of ‘sweet,’ sometimes there’s some ‘sour’ mixed in….and that’s ok! I hope that this Sweet and Sour series inspires you as a mom and reminds you that it’s ok to have sour times. Raising littles is hard work! But, underneath it all, there’s always sweet.
I saw a t-shirt the other day that said, “Mommin’ ain’t easy.” Isn’t that the truth. Being a mom sure isn’t easy. Recently, I’ve struggled a lot with guilt associated with the fact that I don’t always love being home with my boys 24-7. The diapers. The spit up. The night wakings. The snotty noses. The messy fingers. The endless stream of “NOOOOOOOOO” coming from my toddler’s mouth. The food that has to be cut into bite sized pieces, all so that he can push it around on his plate without ever taking a bite. The list goes on. It all gets rather monotonous during the day and the days sometimes blur together. I felt a lot of guilt because I wasn’t enjoying every moment. Because I spent time dreaming of a luxury vacation in a far away land. Or just not having to cut up someone else’s food at dinner. Whichever.
Then I heard something that has forever changed my view: “Your job as a mother does not have any bearing on how fiercely you love your children and your love for them will always shine through.” Wow. That was huge for me. And it’s absolutely true. My husband goes to work every day to do a job. Whether he has a good or bad day at work has no bearing on how much he loves our boys. When I was still in the working world back when we just had Noah, it didn’t matter if I was successful at work that day or not, it didn’t change the amount I loved him. It didn’t matter if I had an insanely frustrating, miserable day at work, it still didn’t change how much I loved Noah. Neither does my job now. My job now is to take care of our children and our home, but I’ve learned that it’s possible for me to dislike my job at times, but still have a fierce love for my children. And I know that fierce love will always shine through, even on the days when mommin’ ain’t easy.
On the hard days now, I choose to try my best to focus on the love that shines through. I’m not saying that I don’t get overwhelmed and frustrated when my toddler is tantruming, causing the baby to cry. But now, instead of being so hard on myself for not loving every day with two kids ages two and under, I try to forgive myself for at times disliking a job that just plain ain’t easy. The love will always, always shine through.